Friday, September 16, 2005

Dutch Porn Stars are not born over night. I was a very curious child and loved animals. Ol' Smokey was my favorite dog in the whole wide world. He always walked in front of me with his tail held high. I don't know why. Still to this day I look back on my days with Smokey and wonder why there aren't any pictures of me in a precarious situation. They might just be worth some money on the internet.

p.s. With out further photographic evidence, I will deny anything that may have happened before this photo was shot.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Lost Kitty found

Dutch is quite angry. When I travel down the gulf coast of Florida I will always make a point to call and visit any and all of my friends. This picture was taken in Nashville. I live in Nashville. Kitty did not call, did not stop by for lunch, didn't even drive past my warehouse. I am quite offended. I thought we were better friends. This is not how friends treat each other. Enough said, please don't let it happen again.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Big Beaver 69

Out on the road in my new Dutch P Star motorcoach(DPS travel home "thanks golden"). Side note... Apparently I did not read the fine print on the sale of my trailer and pimp mobile. I am contractually obligated to mention every time I mention my new digs on wheels. Nontheless, whilst traveling in my new DPS travel home "thanks" I came upon the most amazing sight know or unknown to mankind(or womankind). Pictured on the right. With a hard right hand turn I was able to man handle the DPS travel home "thanks" off the 20 mph exit ramp at a cool 52 mph. I am glad it is a dually cause it was only on 3 wheels. Once off the exit my eyes were barely able to be contained in my head, it was incredible... but that is another story.

Monday, August 01, 2005

New Ride

With my new found fame and fortune I have decided to take my side show act on the road. With the help of ebay and some freaks from I accepted their bid of $47,256.00 for my home and pimp mobile (pictured on For some reason they actually believed that Jesus grew up in this very home and this was his first car at the sweet age of 16. With the revenue from the sale I will be buying this. I ride fit for a real Dutch Porn Star. Look for me at a town near you soon. Tickets will go on sale soon and all my fellow readers will receive a 25% discount if you mention this add.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Happy Feet

In the porn business every one is looking for their own specialties to make them famous or infamous. Some people can squirt 10 to 20 feet. Some can handle many fellas. Some can handle many gals. Some can last only 30 seconds. All very impressive feats I must say. But my specialty is safety. You don't know what kind of shit you may find yourself in. That is why mandals are needed. A shoe that is so light it floats. Made of closed cell resin that will not allow the growth of bacteria. Gahnareehia or Clamideia are a few of the undesirable bacteria that can not grow on my mandals. With its bacteria free surface your feet will never smell. Which is a bonus in many close quarter eldora adventures. And last but not least there is a mandal in every color, to match every color of crotchless man panties (or girly panties for the ladies) you choose to wear.

p.s. Gahnareehia and Clamideia if you cant spell them than you cant catch them right?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Hi new friends.